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Dan Bern - Shakespeare's Got a Gun

Song Lyrics

Shakespeare's got a mail order Uzi
Shakespeare's got a gun, he's gonna use it
Shakespeare's got a prostitute named Susie
Shakespeare's got a mail order Uzi

It seems some monkey, just outside of Pittsburgh
Finally typed out Hamlet, typed out Hamlet, word for word
Shakespeare's pissed off, Shakespeare's got an Uzi
Shakespeare's got a gun, he's gonna use it

Shakespeare's got a Fender Stratocaster
He's got the sucker cranked, he's going to blast her
Led Zeppelin was never any faster
Shakespeare's got a Fender Stratocaster

He's dressed in black
He's got a Marshal stack
He dances with baboons who jump up on his back
Ah, Love's Labour's Lost, that's in the past
Shakespeare's got a Fender Stratocaster

Shakespeare's got no use for thick black glasses
That sit and dissect tragedies in college English classes
Shakespeare's sick of words
Shakespeare's sick of letters
Shakespeare watches videos, the dirtier the better

Shakespeare's got a liquor store in Anaheim
Shakespeare combs his hair with a soup spoon
Shakespeare drinks tequila out of Styrofoam
Shakespeare's got a liquor store in Anaheim

He sells magazines, he eats cigarettes
He does little girls in the back of his corvette
Ah, Shakespeare's got a gun in a liquor store in Anaheim
Shakespeare's got guitar, going to use it


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