It was a snowy day
Kinda like today
And there wasn't a whole lot going on
So I thought,
"You know what'd be fun
Would be to go grab a guitar
And sit on a porch or a lawn
Swap tunes with Ani Difranco."
Now I though to myself,
"Yeah, but she's real busy
Playing them shows and thinking up rhymes."
But then I figured
Even she's got to go home to Buffalo sometime
So I drove there
Parked outside her mom's house
Well, I knocked, and her Mama answered the door
I said, "Would this be the Difranco place?"
I said, "I'm looking for Ani if she's around."
And she said, "Fuck you and your untouchable face."
That's when I knew I had the right house
I said, "Golly, Mrs. Difranco
Might I trouble you for a glass of water?
Then I could sit down and wait a while
And then maybe swap some tunes with your daughter"
She seemed to take pity on me
Asked me in
Fed me some pasta
Gave me a sponge bath
Toweled me dry
Showed me Ani's room
Said, "She's not around
I guess you can stay here."
Well, I stayed eight months with Mrs. Difranco
She darned my socks
And sewed up my sleeves
Well then one morning she woke me up
And said, "Ani's home
You're going to have to leave"
I packed my things
Kissed Mrs. Difranco goodbye
And was gone
Well, it's been two weeks
And I ain't heard from you, Mrs. Difranco
And I'm feeling blue
I'm walking out in the rain
Listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
I'm getting nowhere with you
And I can't let it go
And I can't get through
Well, I looked at Ani's schedule
And I see that she's back out on the road
And, well, I guess I'll shuffle on back up to Buffalo
And hang out with Mrs. Difranco a spell
I'll bring my laundry
Get another one of them sponge baths
This time, though, I'm gonna watch her close
I mean, everyone
I mean, everyone is a fucking Napoleon